I’m sure I’ll get a bunch of school boards picking this up for their sex-ed classes in no time. You just wait–the money will roll right in.
There was a dude who lived in the sea;
He lived all alone, and all sleazily.
For he was not an upstanding young man,
But a boy with no plan and an overused hand.
One day a mermaid took off her shells,
And he snapped a pic for his friend he called Nel.
“Look at those knockers,” he said like a bro,
And he took off to give his buddy a show.
He got to Nel’s cave, in the middle of town,
(Not really a town, but more of a cave)
And showed Nel the picture, rude and obscene,
Obscene and so rude, and so rude and obscene.
Nel was a chum, but never a chump,
So gave our young man a slap and a lump.
“What are you thinking, you heartless dumb thing?”
“You’ve got to be nice and respectful, and things.”
“Ask her permission to post both her jugs,
And always ask first before expecting a tug.”
The young dude was grateful, really he was.
He’d expected much different: a reaction, a buzz.
But he went on his way, with respect on his mind,
And from that day; henceforth, was mostly just kind.