I wonder if in the future they’ll look at the early years of the 2000s like we look back at the end of the samurai or the end of the Old West. Will they have movies and videogames about hackers and internet pirates, about memes and print media dying and then morphing into something else? If so, I’d like to be played by future Matthew McConaughey, because I don’t know his name, because it’s not the future yet and this actor hasn’t been born. Also, I would like where I live to look more cool, so they better have a good set designer. This, of course, is all assuming I do something interesting enough with my life to warrant being in this film, and assuming they still have films in the future, and not just Eyelid Blasts, which will probably not be as painful as they sound.